Lesson learned...

This here is my guy...my Tyler Bean, Bubba-Louie, Tex Longhorn (that's his cowboy name. Mine's Sunny Sundown, his sister Ella is Betty Bullwhip). He's the light of my life. And I screwed up BIG TIME. In early December Tyler let on that his preschool class was working on a BIG SURPRISE. A secret's pretty tough to keep when you're 4 years old. When something this BIG is happening in your life it's hard to keep it under your hat.

From the hints my little guy dropped, we were able to discern that his class was putting on a Christmas play - the story of the Nativity. Words cannot express just how much we (Tyler's folks, me) were ALL looking forward to attending the Christmas Surprise. It was to be held on the last day of school before winter break. Tyler let on that he was a shepherd, he would have a cane, his friend Brian would be a King, and that there would be sheep. They wouldn't be REAL sheep, but they would say baaaaa. And all along, I PROMISED Tyler I'd be there. I couldn't wait. It was almost as if my own holiday depended on it, rested on seeing my little Grandson in this precious Christmas display. I scheduled my work week accordingly...I was ready.

As dumb luck would have it, on the day of his Christmas surprise it snowed like the dickens. The schools in our area called a snow day - no school. The Christmas Surprise would be rescheduled for sometime after break. Long story short, on my first day back to work (after being off for 12 glorious days) my daughter phoned mid-morning to let me know that the Surprise would be held at the school that afternoon. Stupid me. With work piled up around me I said I wouldn't be able to make it. How could I possibly take time off now after being off for such a long stretch over the holidays? BIG MISTAKE. While that once-in-a-lifetime event was happening, I was sitting in my cublicle at work.

My daughter had a meeting to attend today so I offered to give Tyler a lift to school at noon. I figured I could use my lunch hour. It was the highlight of my day and I couldn't wait to see him. As usual, when I walked in the door to his house he was thrilled to see me (and me him, of course). "Ra Ra," he said (that's what he calls me), "I couldn't wait to see you! I love you Ra Ra!" I gave him hugs and kisses and shared his sentiments. Got him in the car and we were on our way. During the ride to his school I asked him how his Christmas Surprise went. He replied, "It was a Christmas play RaRa. I didn't see you there." I told him that I was working, that I couldn't make it. What a lame excuse. I asked him if he was looking for me. He replied back, "I looked for you the whole time."

Wow. Bad decision. I should have learned from the past, when I had to miss the rare event here or there with my own kids. But to have missed something this important, for it to be that important to Tyler that I be there, and for me to have put work first.

I can't turn back the clock on this, can't do it over. But you can bet I won't make that mistake again.

The flipside of the story is that, in an effort to recover for my blunder, I asked Tyler (along the way to his school) if I could make it up to him by taking him out for a donut and chocolate milk. He said he'd like that, and was quiet for a minute and suggested that we could do donuts "right now RaRa." I said, "Tyler, you have school and I need to get back to the library." He said, "No RaRa, I mean we could do donuts in the car. Just like Daddy did we went to look for a tree on that snowy night. The boy scouts weren't there when we wanted to buy a tree and Daddy did donuts in the parking lot."

Priceless moment? You bet.

-t.

p.s. I've also included, in today's post pics, Tyler's 2009 Christmas card.

Peace:)

Strong Shoulders

My post workout thoughts on the way home from the gym today went from sore shoulders to thoughts about how strong my shoulders have become. Then my brain switched gears to my kids for some reason and I thought about how those strong shoulders oftentimes carry the worries and concerns that they as young adults bear. When my children were small, their little heads required soft shoulders to rest on. Bruised knees, sleepy heads and tears brought on by an unjust world (one which didn't allow a diet consisting solely of chocolate milk in a sippy cup) were made a little more bearable by resting a head on mom's shoulder.

But as my babies grew my shoulders got stronger. Forgotten homework, being passed over for a slumber party, the drama of childhood all too soon turned into the reality of adult life. It's funny, when my mom used to tell me, "you never stop being mom" she was never more right. My shoulders have become as strong as granite. Now they bear the hopes, fears, joy and tears of my adult children. You never stop worrying that they're happy, healthy and loved. You never stop giving them that shoulder to lean on when they need it. You never stop being "mom." Think about that when you work those shoulders. They bear the weight of the world; yours and the weight of your children, as long as you live.

I've heard it said that biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. What makes a mother is giving that shoulder time after time, never ceasing. It's my purpose in life. Makes me want to work those shoulders just a little harder every time - they need to be strong for me, for my kids, as we all grow up together.

-t.

If I could turn back time...

I might have had a few less cookies, bypassed the snack mix and perhaps skipped that slice of turtle cheesecake before turning in for the night. But alas, I didn't, which was the reason for the screeching WREE WREE WREE of horror music as a I dared a quick step on the bathroom scale this morning. Yikes. I should have known better! Actually, this isn't just a "holidays only" binge I've been on. This started last summer with burgers and brats on the grill, margaritas with quacamole and chips, my daughter Lindsey's "peanut butter jelly bars"...I began eating like it was Christmas sometime last June and it's been a deliciously slippery slope since then. The holidays were the breaking point; I feel sluggish...my body is on sugar plum overload.

Resolutions, diet plans, and best made intentions aside, I need to think about what those extra calories do to my girl - my heart that keeps me going. A few years ago I had one of those stress tests where I laid on a table and actually watched my heart working. There she was, working ceaselessly and enabling me to live, love, work and play. Seeing my heart in action had a profound effect on me. I made a promise at that point to commit to caring for her the same way she cares for me. I'd done a pretty good job up until a few months ago. Now's the time to renew my pledge.

At this time of year when millions resolve to lose weight, we neglect to resolve to take care of what's inside. We fall in love with the IMAGE of what we can be once those pesky pounds are shed. But what we fail to realize is that it's what inside that really matters. If we resolve to fall in love with what's inside, our hearts and souls, then the result will be evident in due time on the outside. Picture your heart, imagine her beating away, working while you rest...never taking a break. Honor her, feed her well, exercise her...and she'll reward you in ways that can't be measured.

I've included a picture in today's post that highlights some of my favorite fitness must haves. Earlier this year I discoverd Clean Eating magazine - I love it! Issues include TONS of health and fitness information, recipes and even 14 day meal plans. One of my favorite fitness authors, Tosca Reno, is a contributing editor to the magazine. She also has a few books that I'm sure you'll love as much as I do - The Clean Eating Cookbook, The Clean Eating Diet, and also The Clean Eating Work-Out Book. Take a trip to the library or the local book store - search for something to give you inspiration.

I've visited the perimeter of the grocery store - the kitchen has been stocked with foods to enhance good health. The last few cookies have been served to the birds. It's time to honor that commitment I made to my girl - my strong and steady female heart.

"Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through the eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded." (Goethe)

Take GOOD care of YOURSELF.

-t.

Click your heels together three times and repeat after me...

there's no place like home. It's what I crave when my life gets too crazy - my home. Today has been a day of pure contentment for me. With a live broadcast of La Boheme streaming from the Met to my kitchen, I'm catching up on library work while enjoying the warmth and peace of my home. Trust me, my home certainly isn't a showcase. More like an absolute house of horrors for the white gloved neat freak. It has its store of cluttered closets, junk-filled drawers and dust tumbleweeds hiding out in the corners waiting for a breeze. But more importantly, it is full to the rafters with the spirit of my family. Sometimes I swear these walls really breath. In the stillness, the quiet which is plentiful now that my kids are making their own way in life, I can hear the whispers of life that has been happening these 16 plus years since we first moved in.

The infectious laughter of my kids, balls erroneously bouncing off walls, doors slammed in frustration, tears over boyfriends and mean girls, the swish of a prom dress as a daughter descends the stairs, nerf darts swishing through the air, the strum of my son's guitar, the merriment of friends and family from celebrations past...all these memories that live and breath in the foundation of this house. New sounds now...our Grandson calling "read to me PaPa," our little Granddaughter giving "Shake-r Booty" a little competition with her falsetto rendition of Once Upon a Dream. Sure...in our neck of the woods its brutal outside. But the weather inside is perfect. For dreaming, creating, cooking, rearranging...for just making memories out of the life that is "every day."

Terence Conran was quoted as saying, "Home is the heart of life...Home is where we feel at ease, where we belong, where we can create surroundings that reflect our tastes and pleasures. Making a home is a form of creativity open to everyone." Welcome home. And remember...if you ever go looking for your heart's desire, don't look any further than your own backyard!

-t.

p.s. Want to warm your place up with a pot full of comfort? Try this easy but amazingly satisfying crock pot gem. It's a favorite at my house - total comfort food, perfect for a cold winter day!

Chicken-Noodle Hot Dish

1/2 cup butter

1 - 16 oz. frozen mixed vegetables

2 cans cream of chicken soup

2 cans cream of mushroom soup

1 1/2 tsp. garlic powder

1 tsp. onion powder

3 - 3oz. packages chicken flavored ramen noodles

6 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves - cut into 1" dice

Cut butter into small chunks and put into prepared crock pot. Add the veggies and the soups and stir around a bit. Layer chicken over soup/veggie mix. Sprinkle with garlic and onion powders and the seasoning packets from the ramen noodles. Cover and cook on low for 6 hours.

One hour before serving, break each ramen noodle bunch into quarters, put into crock pot and stir to cover noodles. Cover and cook for one hour on high setting.

Trust me, you're going to love this one!

Hello Ordinary, I kind of missed you!

Making a list, getting things done. That's how I'll begin to incorporate peace in my life today. Balance the checkbook, make a grocery list ...aren't the things we typically consider mundane the true blessings in life? Getting up, grabbing my coffee and getting to work...what a gift. As much as I love the holidays, I welcome the order of life - the peace of an ordinary day. No gifts to shop for or wrap. No more cookies to bake (or eat, actually. Most of what's left is a bit stale - perfect for my feathered friends on the other side of my window!). No more guilt over the cards that didn't get sent or the crafty gifts I couldn't seem to finish. I'll have plenty of time to finish those little projects and present them as birthday gifts later in the year.

Later I'll get together with my sis for lunch and thank my lucky stars for the time we share - a particular sparkle to an otherwise ordinary (picture perfect) day. Today I'm going to be "intensely indulgent" in the perfect beauty of today, just as it is. A blessing.

-t.

p.s. Be sure to undulge yourself a bit today too! If I hadn't indulged in a bite of chocolate, I might have missed this important message:)

Isn't this the coolest?

Oh wow, I really want this.

I might just have to order it.

Check out the VERY COOL work of

Liz Lamoreux at her Etsy shop.

enter her name at www.etsy.com

Gotta love it!

A Sense of Peace...

I never would have imagined what would have come out of a book group that I fashioned in 2008 - my "New Earth" book group. What resulted from those meetings which began on a sunny Saturday morning last June cannot be measured in words. A sister-hood, a soul-group, a gathering of incredible women who have fed my soul more than they'll ever know. It was at our meeting in December that I was inspired to make peace my foundation and quest for the New Year.

As I sat and listened to my new friends describe their quest for peace in 2008, I understood plain-as-day that this was something essential for me too. Peace in all aspects of my life ~ health, work, family, relationships, money, creativity...it's time for me to take a hard look at how to add, subtract, incorporate, make way for peace to happen for me (and in return, perhaps bring a little peace into the lives of others).

This isn't going to be an easy task by any stretch of the imagination, but I AM committed.

This is going to be my constant meditation, consideration, prayer.

But just imagine, if we all focused on giving, receiving, creating PEACE, what kind of affect would that have on our lives and the lives of those around us?

The card pictured above was given to me by my friend Joannie (a part of my NE book club. yes, we shared Eckhardt Tolle's mantra for awareness, and wow - what a difference it's made in my life). I'm framing it and keeping it a high traffic spot in my life to remind me everyday to make PEACE my priority.

I'm making peace the first stitch on the canvas of my NEW YEAR.

Care to join me?

-T.

p.s. seen any cute little peace charms lately? I'm on the lookout:)

oh, and BTW...our little book club is starting Deepak Chopra's 7 Spiritual Laws of Success

in January. We'll discuss chapter 1 in a few weeks - want to share the journey?