A word of advice...

I'm a really lucky girl. My life is rich with amazing women; daughters, friends, my sister, my mom, and the many incredible women that have come into my life via the workplace. We're kindred souls connected by a deep fondness...sisters together in love and life. No matter what the situation - grieving for a parent, a man that's done us wrong, life running us over like a freight train - we're there for each other, plain and simple. That goes for the happy stuff too; we share it all. If a friend's in need, or mother, sister, daughter, I search my heart and soul to find the words that might give comfort, strength and encouragement to these sisters-of-my-heart. I do this because I love them. And sometimes I wonder...am I living in accordance with the advice I so freely give?

I'm in the midst of one of those weeks, the kind that makes me want to take refuge in the "little singles apartment" that I keep tucked away in the far reaches of my mind. My kids know what I'm talking about. When I say "I'm going to that little singles apartment in my mind," they know that this means I'm at my limit. This is a week that has me asking questions, searching my heart and soul for answers. I've been meditating also on all of those words of advice that I've shared in the past. After a lot of soul searching, I think it's high time that I hold myself accountable for living in congruity to my word.

There...I said it. No looking back now, right? Just go forward. Live. Breathe. Be true to yourself. Be good to others. Live a life that makes you proud at the end of each day. Protect your heart. Be responsible for your own happiness, and unhappiness too. Let choice, not chance, determine your destiny.

peace sisters...

-t.

Check out this cool list I found in a book called Lists to live by, For everything that matters...

1.

Learn to accept change.

2.

Admit your weaknesses.

3.

Ask for any help that you know you need.

4.

Be open to solutions.

5.

Deal directly with your problems.

6.

Admit your faults.

7.

Take full responsibility for your heart.

8.

Tell the truth, especially to yourself.

p.s... As I was finishing this post, my (away at college) son called in need of an emotional "pulling up by the boot straps" boost from Mom. I guess forgot to mention the good fortune of amazing sons too...

Adventure...the pursuit of Life

I'm getting a little itchy for something new in my life. An adventure, a chance to explore, an opportunity to pursue a dream. I can't put my finger on it, don't know exactly how to scratch this itch. All I know is that when I look back on this 49th year of mine, I want to have had an experience that will make me say "wow, I'm sure glad I did that." I don't think this is cabin fever, can't blame it on the weather. It's inside me, this yearning to see another part of myself that up to this point in my life remains hidden. I know it's there, I can feel it in my heartbeat. This yearning...whispering to my spirit "follow me."

2009 requires that I do a better job of listening to my inner voice, the one that says "say no, say no!" as my mouth spills out an enthusiastic "of course I will. NO PROBLEM. Really!" The demands of non-stop weekends sandwiched between forty hour work weeks just won't do for me any longer. In our lives we go from one event to another, crazy busy... one day after the next. And then we ask ourselves "Where did the time go?" Well, time went. With reckless abandon, like a breeze blowing in the window and out the door. I don't want my "one day I'm going to's" to end up being"I wish I would have's."

In the words of Abraham Lincoln, in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. It's my life, yours, ours. We create our own adventures. I see one for me, the opportunity is close enough to touch. All that's required of me is to grab hold, make the jump. Can I trust myself to take the chance?

-t.

Zuccanoes and Girlfriend times two...

My sub-zero Friday was made a tad warmer thanks to a felicitous lunch date with my dear hearts, Nans and Beth. What a bright spot to an otherwise ordinary day. I rarely venture out for lunch during the work week, preferring rather to hunker down in my cubicle dining on my daily salad and a good book. But today was special. Today was lunch with Beth and Nans.

Books are the culprit for this connection of souls. Tragedy, romance, betrayal, deceit... we've been through it all in the course of the books we've read together. And we've been through an awful lot together in our lives as well. Two friends, two souls that I can't imagine being without. And I would never have known them if it weren't for a chance meeting at a book club.

Two friends that couldn't be more different, yet similar just the same. Beth - quirky, bohemian, wild and wonderful. Nans - together, classy, a real "girl's girl." Beth in her fuzzy purple hat and faux leopard print coat...smiling, laughing, just being Beth. Nans with a laugh that's music to my ears, the sister of my heart. And both with hearts that would burst and break for those they love. Both that would drop everything at a moments notice if ever I should call in need. Me too, for them. Anais Nin was quoted as saying that our friends represent "a world in us. A world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Thanks Nans, thanks Beth...for making my world a little brighter. Today and always.

-t.

p.s. About zuccanoes? They were the special today at Frank's Karma Cafe'. And we were lucky enough to enjoy the last three servings they had. Delicious - the company, the food.

The story of We...

A few nights ago I met with my Tuesday night book club. We discussed the book The History of Love by Nicole Krauss. The book was critiqued in the usual manner; some loved it, some not, and of course there were those left with a feeling that fell somewhere in between. While I thoroughly enjoyed the story, that of an aging man, Leo Gursky, who obsesses over his death and spends his days drawing attention to himself all in order to not die on a day and go un-noticed, what captivated me entirely was that this was a story about people's stories.

We're all of us stories. Living, breathing, working, loving, laughing, crying stories. And our stories are important, exceptional. Of course you've heard it said that "life is stranger than fiction." Or maybe more wonderful, sadder, miraculous, more amazing. I've been involved in a study of Eckhardt Tolle's book The New Earth over a course of the past 6 months. One point Tolle made (of so many) that had a profound effect on me was the idea that we are a part of every one else on the planet, and in respect, they - us. Me you, you me. The anger, love, joy and rage...mine is yours, and your's is mine. If I look sincerely, I will see me in you and you in me. It's the beauty of being human, this together/aloneness. I've always been in love with people, but what I've come to learn is that I'm more accutely aware and have a greater respect for people...their stories. And I'm even more in love with them.

So, with respect to the notion of our cosmic (if you will) connection, we are all stories and all of our stories are real. To us. Our lives are the best stories we tell ourselves. We are all authors, all writers. And the story we are creating is the story of us...your story, my story. Some days feel like a horror story, some days perhaps we're the femme fatale in a romance novel. Some days are a mystery, and some days our story could be summed up in a comic book.

I'm filled with awe as I look around me, people in cars passing me by, people I see at work, wherever I go. All these people, all these stories, and the amazing thought that all of our stories are unique, just like me, just like you. We all have "stuff" in our lives, we're all dealing with the every day. But at the same time, we're unparalleled, our story a first novel. How do you want your story to read? Is it a book that will keep you up 'til all hours of the night? Or is it one that sits on the shelf waiting to be picked up, savored? I want mine to be a best-seller. And I never want to lose sight of what an amazing library we all make, all our stories, us.

-t.

"Today You are You, that is truer than true.

There is no on alive who is Youer than You."

Dr. Suess

Inside looking out on a chilly winter morning...

These are the toughest days of winter for me.

When the thermometer dips below 10 degrees I get kind of cranky.

The blaring sun makes a joke of the sub-zero temperatures.

Why does it have to be so annoyingly sunny

when it's so ridiculously cold like this?

My hair is loaded with static,

my skin is LONGING for humidity,

I miss my flip flops and cute summer skirts.

My winter clothes have become REALLY boring.

My new (old) fashion accessories are an

assortment of leg warmers (left over from the 80's).

I'm sure glad I hung onto them.

I wore a pair to work yesterday,

right under my corduroy skirt,

just like I did in the 80's -

from knee to ankle.

Desperate temperatures call for desperate measures, right?

And they're WAY cuter than long underwear.

Upside? Cold winter days allow us to spend time

INSIDE our homes, fussing, fixing, organizing, living...

a few months to give some love, room by room.

I don't know about you, but my home's in desperate need of some TLC.

So that's what I'll be doing over the chilly weeks ahead.

Painting, rearranging, making things right...

and watching the calendar in anticipation.

Only 65 days until the first day of Spring.

Stay warm...

-t.

p.s. Enjoy the view from my kitchen window!

6 mornings well spent...

Seven days, six trips to the gym,

from last Sunday to this past Saturday.

It was cold, it snowed,

I was tired, I had things to do.

I had almost 300 pages to read

in less than a week (I lead 3 book clubs),

a house to de-Christmas,

laundry piling up, my son home from college,

a 50th birthday party to plan for my husband,

bills to pay, dishes, laundry, pets,

a full time job, meals to prepare.

But...at age 48, I also have

stage II hypertension,

early onset coronary artery disease,

high cholesterol (genetic),

a few extra pounds since this time last year

and no room for excuses.

So, after 7 days and 6 EARLY morning trips to the gym,

over 90 minutes of weight training,

more than 4 hours spent on the treadmill,

bike, stair master,

elliptical and incline trainer,

20 miles, 3127 vertical feet,

101 steps climbed later,

...2589 calories left at the gym

(not counting those burned during weight training),

and attention paid to what I fed my body,

I lost 2 pounds this week.

My heart is better for my efforts.

I'm energetic, sleeping well, my brain is clear,

and I'm ridiculously happy...

feeling mighty fine in fact.

One of my favorite quotes on fitness comes

from Olympian Mia Hamm...

"I am building a fire, and every day I train

I add more fuel. At just the right moment

I light the match."

Goal? To be the healthiest me ever.

To care for what's on the inside.

I love life. I don't want to miss a minute of it.

-t.

Tell me a story...

Sometime early last fall I began a news-fast. A sabbatical, if you will, from news in general. I wasn't completely in the dark, what with an historic election taking place. I watched the debates, formed my opinion, but let the talking heads just talk to themselves. On election night I watched our new President make his acceptance speech, and then I tuned out. I figured it was high time we all just let the man we put our trust in do his job, and I'd do mine.

During my early morning ritual of making lunches, pouring coffee, and toasting bread, the television in my kitchen remained silent. Instead of listening to the morning news of war, politics and issues over which I had no control, I fell in love with audio books. Charlotte Bronte's Villette, The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James...what a way to begin the day. I found myself dawdling over the preparation of my lunchtime salad greens, taking a little more time to concoct a turkey sandwich. The quote by Emily Dickinson,"There is no frigate like a book to take us lands away" best described my new found bliss. Away I went, where ever it was that my book took me.

I'm currently listening to bestselling author Julia Glass' new book I See You Everywhere. This wonderful tale of two sisters is told in the alternating voices of the author and actress Mary Stewart Masterson. Simply said, I love it - in all of it's unabridged, 12-disc-long glory. And it takes me away. Away from the depressing news on the television, away from the reality that all I'm really doing is packing a lunch bag, loading the dishwasher or sorting out the day's dose of assorted vitamins.

In light of the grim economic situation of our country, where it seems everyone is tightening their belts and making due with a little less, what better time to escape, find some peace, by immersing yourself into a good story. The early writer and feminist Lady Mary Wortley Montague said it best. "No entertainment is so cheap as reading, nor any pleasure so lasting." And might I add listening, too?

-t.

"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain."

Louisa May Alcott