Thursday, January 20, 2011

Lost in thoughts of you...

today i wish there was a place i go could
where i would see you
your gentle, loving, father face
not like the last time i saw you
but maybe a month before that
when you were in the car, ready to go
and we were talking, even though mom
had the car running and exhaust fumes
clouded our conversation
i can remember how your face looked
in conversation with me
and after you left, i’d wished i’d taken
that conversation more seriously.
‘cuz i had a feeling about that conversation,
that day, seeing you enjoy your family,
playing with tyler and ella
oh, the look on your face that day
the next time i saw you there was worry
mixed with pain and exhaustion
but even still, on that day,
we had a little bit of conversation and
i cooked for you and you said
“honey, this is so good”
i guess that’s my fear, dad, that i will forget...
your face, your loving eyes
and the gentle sound of your voice.
for just one moment,
i just wish i could hear your voice again.
for this moment, in my desire to see you
i look up.
my eyes fixed on heaven.
my worry abates.
the sound of your voice fills my mind.
music, to my ears.
“there’s a new dawn for me”
you told me and i know
you’re home, but you’re here too,
watching me, listening, guiding even still.
and today, like so many days since you’ve been gone,
i want you to hear me say,
i love you dad.
like my heavenly father is with me,
i will never let you go.


this post went right from heart and onto the page - no editing, which probably shows -
but sometimes i think we need to do that. just let it spill. say the words. feel the emotion.
today i do, feel a lot of emotion, and this is my healing.


  1. This is such a beautiful and touching sentiment, Terri. Hang in there, Friend!

  2. Loved it!
    Emotions seem to fly at me as you expressed...
    Keep posting!

  3. This posting made me cry. Tomorrow, Sat., Jan. 22nd would have been my dad's 85th birthday. It has been 25 years since I have heard his infectious laugh and enjoyed his smiling face. Love never dies but sometimes it really hurts.

  4. oh so beautiful writing and glad to see you are putting pen to paper. Hopefully the blizzard will give you even more time to write.

  5. I have followed your blog for sometime and somehow missed this one. I lost my daddy in January and I still long for him. Thanks for sharing your raw emotions. Please follow my blog as well.

    Happy writing.... it does bring peace! :-)