just hung up the phone after a good talk with my best friend nans. i love the sound of her voice. i even love when i call her cell and she doesn't answer and i get to hear her voicemail message "...hi! this is nancy's cell phone! Please leave a message..." and in that recording i picture the smile and hear the laugh of my soul sister.
she's been away for the holidays. sort of a pre-emptive "going away practice" for the real going away which happens bit by bit over the course of the next few months. nans is heading back to her home in phoenix -so far away - and we'll turn into friends with a long phone cord. friends with the cost of bi-annual plane tickets posted to our credit card statements. this time around, nans' being away for the holidays felt a tad strange, that four states away feeling sinking in sooner than i had expected. because of the holidays i sort of ignored the feeling, but in the months to come i don't quite know how i'll adjust, her not being here.
i think i may have taken for granted the ease in which i find myself in her company. book clubs, a quick lunch, a breakfast out...a quick phone call and we're there for each other in a shot. and wow, have we been there for each other. we were just speaking of the stress we've managed in our lives over the last couple of years, both of us balancing issues, the weight of which seemed just that much easier because we had each other to lean on. i know nancy, she knows me. and through the ties of friendship we've become so much more - sisters of the heart. that's how we refer to each other.
things will be different, our connection more of a challenge. but thank heavens for the conveniences of communication technology. thank heavens that i don't have little ones at home to worry about any longer, keeping me from taking off for a week with my soul sister. knowing nans and i, the simple fact that we ARE so far away from each other will probably have us eating up cell phone minutes by the ear full. life will still happen, i'll need her to be there, and of course i'll be here for her. and we will. be there for each other. friendships are made with love - this one with a love strong enough to defy distance.
it still scares me, the thought of her leaving. we still have not addressed the issue, neither one of us being able to speak of it in the other's company without the fear of crying our eyes out. this is the first friendship i've had (not counting my little sister, and the thought of her not being there...well, i can't even go there!) where i've felt this strong, sisterly love. in a few months, if and when i'm ever asked "does all of your family live in the area?" i'll answer no. no, i have a sister in phoenix...but we talk all the time.
aloha au ia`oe, nans
in the photo above i'm with nans and my other sister/friend, irene.
another dear friend, a story for another day.
we're enjoying our signature drinks - kettle one martinis, dirty with blue cheese olives