Friday, March 20, 2009

Thoughts on this first day of spring...

"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been." I'd take Newberry Award winning author Madeline L'Engle's words just a step further and say that you don't lose all of the ages you ARE. You see, I think this becomes an issue with us as we age. We lose track of who we once were. Gosh I hate that term - age. I don't feel like I've ever "aged." I just feel like I've sort of grown up here and there. Sure, the bathroom mirror tells me otherwise, but in my heart, my soul I'm still the 4, 12 18, 27 year old girl/woman that I once was and will always be.

Some days I really feel like a "grown up." Actually physically feel it, being aware of my height as I walk. Other days I can hear my 10 year old laughter bursting through my pipes as I play, run, indulge in a big fat wonderful life. And sometimes I'm as moody and pissed off as a 15 year old convinced that the world/my parents don't understand me. Each and every experience we've had all through our life. That's who we are now. Amazing, isn't it? And who knows what's around the bend? For me, even though I so love what I do - my job at the library - I know there's something waiting for me to add even more richness to my life. There's a little voice telling me there is something more to do, another direction for this child/girl/woman to take.

What is my heart telling me? Inspire. Make a positive impact on lives of others. Give confidence and support to someone who needs direction. Help people make positive changes that lead towards a richer life. Take what I've been through, learned, done, all my positivity and show others that they can do the same. I'm not sure what form my aspirations will take - life coach, speaker, writer...who knows? But just by dreaming, by entertaining the possibilities that come with each new day, I know that I can do pretty much anything I set out to do. You can too. We have it in us. For heaven's sake, we're wonder women - thismuchiknowistrue!

And today? This glorious first day of spring, my 49th birthday, I'm going to allow myself to be everything I always was, everything that I am now. I'm going to be a (teenage) daughter (most likely getting a lecture from my parents) at breakfast, I'm going to be a 4 year old and laugh, laugh, laugh with my grandson's preschool class this afternoon (I'm the mystery reader today and I have a really funny book - can't wait to share it!). This evening I'll be playing the role of strong woman, confident and sure, as I network and rub elbows at a professional engagement. And I wish I could say that when it's time to turn in I'd be the wide eyed child awake long into the night with a flash light and a book I can't put down. But instead, I'll be the teenager forcing myself into homework - reading a book that feels like a bad assignment. Yep, you guessed it. I'm having a really tough time with The Secret Scripture too.

Be whatever your heart calls for today - and honor every part of you that ever was and what is to come. Be open to every possibility that the universe wishes to share with you. And trust in yourself. Happy first day of spring...a portion of Seasons by Vivaldi is playing on my radio right now. My heart dances just hearing it.

the pic? a random google image that fit perfectly. a little girl being big. remember when you used to dress up and clunk around in your mom's heels? and i just love her flowery dress,
so suitable for spring. my hair looks just like this each and every morning.


  1. Happy BIRTHDAY!!!
    I am a day late now... but I hope you had a great day. I love this post. I am glad I am not the only one who still feels like a kid most days!
    PS - I was just sure that was Ella in the picture!

  2. I didn't know it was your birthday! I feel terrible for not sending my wishes to you yesterday. You are a "Wonder Woman" in my eyes and I hope that this year brings those dreams of yours even closer to fruition.

    P.S. I picked up The Secret Scripture again and will do my best to finish. See you Wed.

  3. thank you wonderful girls for the birthday greetings. it was surely a day to remember fondly. the best part was being the mystery reader at tyler's school. twas a most grounding experience!